Still here

Been a while.

There's not much to say.  Things have been quiet.  Also, I can no longer update this during my lunch break at work due to incompatible browsers and I just don't pull out a computer very often at home.

I am spending very little time with the horses, and it is really saddening.  The hours I spend at the shop are eating into the time I spend at the barn like nobody's business, but I've started working only every other weekend this month, so that combined with longer daylight hours will hopefully bring a change.

I'm also coming to terms with the fact that I often like to hike with my horse more than I like to ride.  While a canter can still bring a feeling of "wheee!", I seem to set out onto every trail ride wondering where we are going to have difficulties and where we are going to fight.  It doesn't happen every ride, and perhaps it's a self-fulfilling attitude, but it's a lot more relaxing to just go out and wander on my own two feet with him as company.  A lot of people don't understand this and can't figure out what I'm doing off of my horse, but it feels good to me.  We both can be silly and goofy with each other, he gets to walk where he pleases under the branches that would fling me off, and he gets to keep his nose to the ground in his smell-hound impersonation.  Plus, I get to exercise.  So, he's a huge dog I sometimes sit on.

Also, the reactions from other people in the park (who aren't on horses who are always suspect) are friendlier.  They love to pet the pony and talk about the pony.  They don't just clear off the trail and wait for us to go by; it turns out that we're a lot more approachable.

I keep telling myself that he's my horse, that as long as my bills are paid and his care is up to date then it's my business what I do with him.  However, I still get the nagging feeling that I'm falling short somehow, that I'm a failure as a horse owner.  We are at the point where I know that I have handled basically anything he can throw at me: he has bolted (forward and sideways), he has crow hopped (but never fully bucked), he has reared, he has fallen to his knees, and he has given me all of his gaits (sometimes unpredictably).  I just like walking.

When people ask, I usually tell them that I need the exercise as much as he does.

Ah well.