Long time, no post

Quick breakdown of what's gone on.....

• Started my new job.  It's challenging but I adore my new boss and I like it.
• Gained about 20-25 lbs in the transition.  Everything really got to me.  I'm still struggling with it.
• Things got to me so much that I ended up in the ER one Sunday night into the wee hours of Monday morning, thinking I was having a heart attack.  Instead, I found a new kind of panic attack to have that mimicked one.  I am now on anti-anxiety medication that, for the first time in decades, really lets me chill.
• After much to-do and drama, we have a new plan to try to keep weight on Gene this winter.  Starting next month, he and another horse in his 20s will get alfalfa with their grain (fed in stalls), then both will remain by the barn at night where they will get lots of hay and can eat in a sheltered area.  After their morning feed, they will be turned out with everyone else for the day.  We'll see how it goes.
• Renard was put to sleep today.  He declined fast in the last 2 days.  He had been losing weight to the point that there really wasn't any muscle left anymore, let alone fat, but he was still bright-eyed, jumping on the bed, engaging, etc.  This all changed quickly. His hind legs started to fail, he could walk only a few wobbly steps before resting, stopped washing his face, and lost the light in his eyes.  So miserable.  We did him his final favor today.  He was 21 years old.

So, I've been in a bit of a funk and not feeling very social.  I'm still working through it.